Who am I?

I don't truly know who I am or who I want to become. All my life I thought I had everything worked out for my self... My plan was to graduate high school go to a four year college and get a degree in math or science. Then get a good job and settle down and have a family I even planned ahead and set the schools I was the most interested in. Then in the two first years of high I felt like a switch went off in my head. Suddenly I became very lost! I had no idk what I wanted my life I be I could not see myself five years from there...I couldn't even imagine my life in a year. Then I hit senior year the time to apply to college an I was stuck I didn't know what to do. So I figured if I have no idea what to do, then college just isn't for me. I thought hey instead of going to college I should just look for a job. I wasn't easy! It's been a year since I graduated high school and I haven't found a job. Basically for a whole year I haven't done anything. Now I'm wondering if I truly made the right call? I am a person who doesn't know who they are or who they want to be. A person with so much anxiety that I focus on one problem for months. A person who is lost and confused in a world that doesn't make sense to me.

My life💕

Nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows how many times I've cried in my room when nobody was watching. Nobody knows how many times I've lost hope, how many times I've been let down. Nobody know how many times I've felt like I'm about to snap, but I just don't for the sake of others. Nobody knows the thoughts that go through my head when I'm sad, how horrible they truly are. Nobody. Knows. Me.

Maybe no one is reading this or will ever read it for that matter. But I choose to believe that at at least one person will stumble upon my blog and maybe even find it interesting. But it's true nobody knows me....I'm a nobody. I have know idea of who I am or who I am supposed to be. For about a year I have been struggling with my life mentally and emotionally. But no ones seems to understand that. It's also my fault I have trouble expressing my self out loud but for some reason I find it more calming to type my emotions. I am writing this blog not just for myself but to see if it may help someone else in the future.